Eye Spy
by BananaNutCrunch
Summary: Szayel conducts a little experiment, gazing into the lives of his fellow Arrancar. Little does he know, he's about to find out a lot more than he wanted to. Mild yaoi content. Don't like, don't read.


"Damn."

Szayel fumbled madly with the pen in his fingers, trying hard not to drop it. Too be honest, he had no idea why he stilled used the bloody thing; the cap was constantly slipping out of his fingers and falling all over the place. And the last thing he needed right now was a piece of plastic falling onto someone's head and giving away his position.

That position being, perched on one of the many dome-shaped roofs of Las Noches, a perfect vantage point for observing the many passageways and corridors that snaked about the compounds of the building. What made things difficult, however, was the fact that the corridors were uncovered. They had no reason to be, of course, since it never rained or shone in Hueco Mundo. However, it did mean that should one look up, in the right direction, Szayel would be perfectly visible, silhouetted against the Hueco Mundo moon. That was why he needed to be quiet, and not draw attention to himself. It was difficult enough suppressing his reiatsu, but he had to be silent, as well. Which was why he couldn't afford to blow his cover over something as stupid as a slippery pen.

Szayel cursed himself mentally and tried to regain composure, gripping the pen cover firmly in his palm. There. He was calm again.

"YO!"

Szayel let out a manly shriek and promptly dropped his pen.

"NNOITORA! What in the everloving hell is your problem?!"

Nnoitora ignored him, instead plonking himself down, uninvited, next to his pink-haired comrade. Endless legs folded themselves underneath him, much like a telescope. "Whatcha doin'?"

Szayel huffed irritably. "Well, I WAS trying to conduct an experiment. Well, more of an observation, really." He adjusted his glasses, and briefly contemplated sonido-ing over to retrieve his lost pen. He decided against it, though, not feeling in the mood to move.

"Why're ya on the roof?" came Nnoitora's next intelligent question. Szayel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Really, was it that difficult to figure it out?

"Nnoitora, your lack of intelligence is really quite unfortunate." When this elicited no response on Nnoitora's behalf , Szayel continued. "Do you see that corridor there?" he asked, pointing a finger to a rather far-off passageway just visible from the roof on which they sat. Nnoitora nodded to show he was listening. "It leads to the West wings of Las Noches, where all of the Espada's chambers, save for my laboratory, are situated."

Nnoitora furrowed his almost non-existent eyebrows. "Ehy? Hang on, that ain't the path_ I_ take to get to my room. What're you dong watching it?"

Szayel allowed himself a small smile. "This is exactly my point. My fraccion tell me that they stumbled upon this particular passage some time ago, and since then I have noticed that many of the Espada, and possibly even our ex-shinigami commanders, have been using this path to get to their chambers. Ordinarily, this would not concern me, but I also understand that this passage is longer and more secluded than the main corridor which we are supposed to use. What I'd like to find out is, why would anyone voluntarily take a more difficult and deserted path to get to their chambers, when they could easily take the shorter route?"

Seemingly uninterested in processing the information just given to him, Nnoitora simply stuck a finger in his nose and grunted. "Sounds to me like you're feeling left out and you wanna see what all the fuss is about. Either that or your scrawny pink ass is really, really bored."

Insulted, Szayel raised a hand to his chest. "How could you even suggest such a thing? Me? Jealous? Impossible!" he sniffed reproachfully. "Besides, I believe my…slender, and rather charming pink posterior has a right to be wherever it wants to be. Why are_ you_ here, anyway? It's not as though you have anything to do."

Nnoitora shrugged his narrow shoulders, finger still in his nose. "Just thought I'd come up and join you in spyin' n people. Speaking of which, someone's comin'."

Snapping back to attention, Szayel immediately shushed him and raised his binoculars to his face. He adjusted his focus on the passageway, chewing his lip excitedly.

"I see them! It's not one person, it's _two!_" he whispered. "Uhm…they seem to be in contact with one another. I recognize one of them as being King Barragan's fraccion. Ggio, I believe he was called, the one who looks like a tiger in his release form. The other one, I'm unsure of."

Nnoitra leaned over to take a look as Szayel passed him the binoculars. "Lessee… _HUH?! TESLA?!" _he almost shouted before Szayel clamped a hand over his mouth. "_SSSSSSSSH! _They'll hear us, you fool! Sit _down_! And I would appreciate it if you would kindly stop excavating the contents of your nostril!"

Nnoitora struggled against Szayel's grip, enraged. "But that's TESLA! My fraccion! _My_ fraccion! What the hell does he think he's doing with that tiger-bastard! Did you see that? Did you _see _that? They were _holding hands!_ Holding bloody hands like they were bloody lovers out of a bloody girlie-movie! _What the friggin' hell is with that?"_

"Calm down!" Szayel hissed, unsympathetic. "I want to find out what's going on! Now sit down and shut up so I can watch them properly!" Face flushed with annoyance, Szayel rammed the binoculars back into position, nearly breaking his own nose in the process. Nnoitora pushed Szayel's head aside so he could squint through one of the lenses.

They stayed in that ridiculous position for a while, watching Tesla and Ggio closely. The couple was strolling amiably down the passageway, hand-in-hand, and swinging their joined hands with every step. They both appeared to be smiling happily, and Szayel could hear snatches of conversation and laughter. At one point, Ggio leaned over sweetly to give his companion a peck on the cheek.

"AAAAARGH…!" Nnoitora pulled his face away from the binoculars as though they were burning him. He twisted around pathetically, holding his face in his hands. "I can't watch any more! He's gay! Friggin' Tesla is GAY! Do you know what this could _do _to my reputation? My fraccion is holding hands with a dude and acting like a friggin _pansy_!"

Szayel ignored him and continued to watch Tesla and Ggio until they were out of sight. When they were finally gone, he pulled out his notebook and began to fervently scribble in it with a spare pen, grinning madly to himself. "Noitora! _Nnoitora!_ Do you know what this means? _Do you?_ We've just stumbled upon the route used by people who don't want to be seen! That's why people keep coming here, because it's so secluded! Can you imagine what we could find out if we keep watching?"

Nnoitora finally stopped squirming and looked up. "Wait, you mean…we could get into people's private business? See stuff that's meant to be secret, that sort of stuff?" His crocodile smile suddenly surfaced, as thoughts of blackmail and corruption entered his mind.

Szayel nodded, mirroring his grin. "This could be _gold_."

They sat in silence, waiting patiently for their next victims to appear. Before long, they spotted two running figures rocketing down the passageway.

Szayel and Nnoitora peeped through the binoculars once more, eager to see who it was. "I see blue and green and white," observed Nnoitora. "Grimmjow and Ulquoirra," replied Szayel easily.

Grimmjow was chasing Ulquiorra down the corridor. Strangely enough, though, neither were using sonido, so that implied that Ulquiorra didn't really want to get caught, and Grimmjow wasn't really chasing.

It looked more like a game, really.

"I wonder what they could be doing?" Szayel breathed,more to himself than to his partner in crime.

Grimmjow pounced suddenly with a roar, crashing into Ulquiorra's back and knocking them both over. To Nnoitora's utter shock and horror, Ulquiorra let out a girly shriek as he fell, making Grimmjow burst out laughing. Still laughing to himself, the Sexta Espada started to kiss his companion's jaw and cheek ferociously, arms wrapped firmly around the Cuatro. At being thusly molested, Ulquiorra squirmed madly, giggling and shrieking for Grimmjow to stop before someone saw them.

After a few minutes of rough play, Ulquiorra finally managed to break free of his blue subordinate's grip and proceeded to continue running down the corridor, laughing maniacally for Grimmjow to catch him. And with a growl, Grimmjow obliged. Soon, they disappeared somewhere in the network of passages leading directly to the Espada's private chambers.

Seconds passed.

Nnoitora and Szayel sat frozen in shock and horror. Szayel turned slowly to Nnoitora, pen suspended above his notebook. "I….I may be scarred for life…" he whispered, eyes widened behind white spectacles. Nnoitora didn't immediately respond. Instead he proceeded to curl up on the roof, in foetal position. "Let us never speak of this again," he whispered hoarsely.

Szayel nodded grimly and attempted to erase the last ten minutes of his memory.

After about an hour or so, when they had both recovered sufficiently from that particular episode, Nnoitora picked up the binoculars again to continue their experiment.

They waited.

Nobody came.

"I'm bored!" Nnoitora whined, displaying his uncanny ability to simply shrug off what he deemed to be too terrible to even comprehend. Szayel tsked him irritably, not in the mood to deal with him. To tell the truth, Szayel was also growing uncomfortable. The roof was hard, and the chill was starting to get to him. However, the thought of his experiment rooted him to the spot, so he dealt with his discomfort. After all, it was for the sake of science.

Nnoitora stared at Szayel for a while, annoyed at being ignored. Grinning suddenly, he leaned closer to his comrade. "Hey, Szayel," he whispered. "What?" snapped Szayel, turning to face him.

Without warning, Nnoitora stuck a finger into Szayel's pointy nose, yelling, "PENETRATION! ACCEPT IT, BITCH!"

Szayel let out an ungodly shriek. "EEEW!" he tried to break away, flailing helplessly against the superior espada's strength. "GET OFF OF ME, YOU FREAK!" he screamed.

Laughing, Nnoitora retraced his finger, wiping it on Szayel's sleeve. Szayel shuddered, disgusted, and promptly tackled Nnoitora as payback, nearly toppling off the roof in the process. There was a brief scuffle, which quickly stopped when Szayel stiffened.

"Someone's coming," he warned, feeling a massive reiatsu approaching.

It turned out to be Aizen, flanked by Ichimaru, Tousen, and strangely enough, Wonderweiss.

In the silence of the night, Tousen's voice carried, enabling our two intrepid heroes to make out what he was saying. "Thank you for accompanying me to say goodnight to Wonderweiss, Aizen-sama, Gin. It is very kind of you to take his comfort into your account."

Aizen's silken laugh penetrated the cool night air. "Don't be ridiculous, Kaname. You know I take my subordinates' well-being seriously. I am glad I can make your little friend there comfortable."

Nnoitora stared at them for a while, apparently thinking. "Hey, whaddya think about Wonderweiss?" he asked suddenly.

"Wonderwiess? What's so special about Wonderweiss?" replied Szayel, momentarily taken aback.

"I mean, think about it. Little retard follows Tousen all over the place right? Like, he has direct access to our bosses? Plus, nobody's really ever seen him fight, so nobody knows exactly how strong he is, now, do they?" he leaned closer to Szayel, grinning wider than ever. "Maybe Aizen ain't in charge after all. Maybe it's secretly Wonderweiss pulling all the strings. Maybe he's the mastermind behind all our plans, and Aizen's just takin' orders.

Szayel fought the urge to laugh outright at such a ludicrous idea. "Don't be an idiot," he snorted, "you know that isn't possible."

Nnoitora chuckled in response. "Yeah, I know, but wouldn't it be funny if it was?"

The two laughed quietly to themselves, not paying much heed to the conversation between the three ex-shinigami captains.

A sudden movement by Gin caught Nnoitora's eye. "What's he doing?" he whispered. Szayel frowned. "I have no idea. I think he's… oh, no…" his face paled visibly in the moonlight. Nnoitora's stomach dropped at the expression Szayel was making, and wordlessly watched Gin make his way to the foot of the building.

_Gin had found the pen._

Picking it up, he looked up at the two errant Espada, waving cheerfully. "Hey up there! Havin' a lover's night out watching th' stars, are we?"

Szayel spluttered helplessly, for once unsure of what to do as Aizen also looked up at them with a pleasant smile. "I believe they were observing us, Gin. In fact, I do believe they have been here a very long time. I wonder what it was you two were hoping to see by spying on your superiors?" he inquired sweetly.

Szayel and Nnoitora just sat there. As one man, they stood and fled.

"Oh, hey, you forgot your pen!" Gin called out after them. "Oh well," he shrugged, "I guess they don't want it." Whistling, he pocketed it and walked back to Aizen. "Did ya hear what they said? All that about Wonderweiss bein' the boss?" he grinned.

Kaname chuckled despite himself. "Our Arrancar certainly do have active imaginations. Imagine my little Wonderweiss secretly being a mastermind," he patted said Arrancar on the head affectionately. "Ooooaaaaaoooh," said Wonderweiss thoughtfully, rubbing his head against Tousen's hand.

Gin laughed outright, turning to leave. "Well, thanks or the laugh, Sousuke, but I think I'll be hittin' the hay now. Gotta get up real early for plannin' world domination and whatnot." With that, he strolled back out the way he came, whistling some more.

Kaname also turned to Aizen. "I thank you for your company, Aizen-sama, but I too must retire. Goodnight, Aizen-sama. Goodnight, Wonderweiss."

Alone now except for Wonderweiss, Aizen regarded the moon thoughtfully. "Me being under your command? What an interesting conclusion for them to make," he mused, almost to himself.

Next to him, Wonderweiss straightened. "An interesting assumption indeed," he said, voice now devoid of all friendliness. His expression of cheerful stupidity was now replaced by one of haughtiness and distaste.

Aizen turned, and bowed low. "I see you are upset, Lord. I apologize deeply."

Wonderweiss, quite tall now that he was standing upright, let his lips curl in displeasure. "You are right, Aizen. That an arrancar could even suggest something this close to the truth displeases me greatly. You would do well to keep a closer eye on your subordinates from now on,_ Sousuke_. That is, unless you wish to be punished. _Severely_ punished."

Aizen looked up, with something approaching fear in those ever-calm eyes. 'No, no, my lord! Please, do not be angry with me, I will rectify this mistake immediately!" He bowed even lower, forehead almost touching the floor.

Wonderweiss wrinkled his nose at how pathetic his subordinates could be. Turning, he regarded stoically the place where the two Espada once sat. He would remember their faces. He_ always_ remembered faces.

"Yes, Aizen. See that you do."

Whoo! That was a long one! And I'm sorry for the rather crappy fic, I seem to be out of ideas lately. I'll try to come up with something better soon! *grovels* I'm sorry, Lord Wonderweiss! I am trash!


End file.
